Hi, I have used Photomator a fair bit in the past myself, and use Photos as my main storage library.
I never managed to sort this myself either, using an iPad anyway. The sidecar files can be huge, as you say, typically 10x the original. It creates these with an uncompressed TIFF in the sidecar package, along with the editing metadata, thumbnails etc., and depends on the editing tools you apply. It stores these in a separate folder locally (or optionally on iCloud), regardless of whether you used Photos or not (to answer Richard's comments).
The JPGs in Photos are just Preview images, created for viewing. Likewise, I ended up only using it for editing old scanned photos and negatives, it's quite good at cleaning them up.
Once I'd completed the edits, and synced them in Photos, I deleted the Photomator sidecar files. It loses the non-destructive nature, but keeping them all just wasn't viable - besides, if I re-edit, I'd probably start again anyway.
It really limited the usage of Photomator for me, and I never bought the Mac version when I switched back to using a desktop.
However, if you're interested in a non-destructive Raw workflow that syncs across your Photos library, I use Nitro from Gentlemen Coders myself, as my main editing app. It's an excellent editor for getting the basics done, and it doesn't use inordinate amounts of storage for the non-destructive edits (I believe it used the Photos preview image to store the metadata and the edited version), the edited version doesn't seem to use much more space than a normal Photos edited image.
It can also save the edited previews as HEIF files, even as 10-bit versions with different colour profiles (I have all my devices using P3 now).